Seven to one?!?!?

This game sucks a fat one.

My Dodgers - who, by the way, didn't become "my" Dodgers until about
three hours ago - are losing horribly.

And this pisses me off.

Bases loaded. Fuck!

So the Astros have loaded the bases.

Fuck!

This game sucks.

What tha...?

Okay, so we my have been busy buying beer and Dodger dogs, but the
Astros - in any circumstance whatsoever - are boy allowed to score.
Not here. Not ever.

First inning home run.

How does that shit happen? I was in the bathroom, and I missed my
first major league homerun.

"Sports Night" memories abound.

"The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win pennant!"

On the way to the game...

So, no fourth. Cool, I suppose. S'gonna be a good time, either way.
Even if I have to get arrested to make it happen.

And tonight, I may, in fact, get arrested.

...but it's a dry heat.

I'm uncertain as to how one prepares for a baseball game. I think the Dodgers are playing the Texans, or something, so I want to be sure not to wear the visiting team's colors. After all, this is Los Angeles. If excessive film-watching as a child has taught me anything, it's that
colors - in L.A. - are important. Make a wrong wardrobe decision, a man's liable to get himself shot, or stabbed, or shanked in a steamy group shower.

Do they still have steamy group showers at the Dodger games? And who the hell are they playing again?

Maybe it's the Oilers. No. That doesn't sound right either.

I can't help but feel hideously unprepared for this.

It is, however, a hundred-three degrees right now. Probably too hot to go shanking people, I would think.

Doing it Dodger style.

So Ryan's scored us tickets to the Dodger game tonight, which gives me yet another reason to postpone my long-awaited and much needed haircut.

He got us four tickets, free of charge. Of course "free of charge" fails to address the impact of ten dollar parking, twelve dollar beers, and priceless, collectable Dodger-dogs on my wallet.

This, of course, means we'll have to forego "jacuzzi Tuesday" this week, and that makes me sad.

We've got to leave at six, Ray's going to drive, so it'll be Rye, Ray, me, and... Hmm...

This fourth ticket, this X factor, intrigues me.

Perhaps this story gets even more interesting. I'll keep you posted.

Well done, JP. Well done.

So we're out at Acapulco celebrating the fact that my good friend Ramiro (JP) Pena Jr. got himself a j-o-b. Apparently, he'll be working in Ryan's company, as a sort of IT administrator, or something. Whatever the hell he's doing, it sounds like a pretty sweet gig.

So Ryan, Ramiro and I decided to celebrate by going out to eat Mexican food, and drink Mexican drinks. I think that's what you're supposed to do when a Mexican gets a job, right? And Ryan helped him get the job.

He didn't even have to stand in front of the Home Depot or anything.

Anyway, that's pretty much the highlight of my day. I spent the majority of it drinking Irish coffee, and putting myself in a "social" mood.

To be honest, I probably should have spent my time doing some laundry, and getting a haircut - but a man's got to have priorities.

Congratulations, Ray. Make us proud.

Selah!

Thank God it's Tuesday

Tuesday's quickly becoming my favorite night of the whole week.

Why? I'm glad you ask.

Wine. And the jacuzzi. Tuesday's jacuzzi night. My friends and I spend Tuesday nights drinking wine and sitting in the jacuzzi.

Granted, it may not be as cool the Sunday movie night back in Syracuse, but it's pretty damn close.

Which brings me to this: What happened? I used to love movies. I still do, actually. In fact, I used to make it a point to spend one night a week gathering a small group of friends, drinking a few beers, and watching a movie. I'd even make it a point to find something a little obscure, a little challenging, so we'd have something to talk about when the movie was over. It wasn't like we'd all huddle around the television to watch the new Blockbuster action film, only to sit around and talk about how kick ass it was when it ended. We'd watch something quirky, different, "off the beaten path," if you will.

If my schedule was a bit more predictable, I'm sure I could make it work, but alas, perhaps I'll never have another movie night.

That is, until we get a sweet new TV.

Hmmm....

Israeli Girls kick ass.

She might kick ass, but she sure as shit, talks funny.

Her name's Eti. I met her on a smoke break. She was sitting on the stairs outside the mall, and she said "Allo."

Me: How are you? Have you been busy today?
Eti: No. I'm drinking too much Jameson on my lunch break, now I only want to sleep.

Ahh, drunk at work. Could this girl be any better for me? Two nights later, she was calling my cell, asking if she could come over.

Eti: I drop off my roommate, and then I come to your house?
Me: Sure. I mean, come on over. There's not a whole lot going on, to be honest with you, but we could hang out. Call me if you need directions.
Eti: I be there in elfinower.
Me: "Elfinower"?
Eti: Yes. Thirty minutes.

Eti: [Upon walking into the apartment, and seeing Scrabble on the table] You play that game with the words? Just like in the movies?
Me: Umm, Scrabble? Yeah. I guess.

In what fucking movie do people play Scrabble? Perhaps in Israel, they go to the theater to watch Hasbro commercials.

Eti: So you are Mexican?
Me: No. I'm, er, Native American. American Indian?
Eti: Oh. You don't look like Indian.
Me: No, not Indian American. American Indian. It's like - you know what? - forget it.
Eti: When I'm in Israeli Army, I know Indian.
Me: You were in the Israeli Army? What did you do?
Eti: I mostly watch on the radar, and I shoot the Palestines.
Me: Right. Shoot the Palestines.
Eti: I'm sorry, my English not so good. Most people, they like. Americans think is sexy.
Me: Yeah. It is. It's also, um, do you know what "mildly retarded" means?
Eti: No. What is mightily retarded?
Me: It's sexy, baby. It's sexy.

I cannot - in my wildest imagination - foresee this ending well.

Me: So what brought you to working in the mall? I mean, shooting Palestinians - I would think - is a talent you could parlay into just about anything.
Eti: I wish to travel, all around. After the army, I went to Amsterdam, and Spain, and France, and just to stay there a while, you know? It's how to learn. And you cannot work in lot of places, when you are Israeli. You can only work in some places, where my boss is Israeli.
Me: I see. So the whole operation's a little shady. Do you plan to keep traveling?
Eti: Next month, I probably go to South America.
Me: That sounds like fun, I mean, "leaving the country in a month" is kind of what I look for in a girl.
Eti: Sometimes, I think you are joking on me.
Me: Don't be silly. I wouldn't joke on you. In fact, that's probably the most sincere thing I've said to a girl in a long, long time.

So sadly, Eti will be gone soon. And as long as she doesn't blow up my house before she leaves, I'll probably miss her.